Friends and family gathered near, festive music and lights, giving and receiving gifts, lots of food and drink, time off work or school…. for many of us this is indeed the most wonderful time of the year.
For many others it is far from it. The overwhelm of spending money, time with people who we may not feel as connected to or accepted by and the lack of usual routines and familiar spaces can be incredibly challenging.
Whether due to neurodiversity, a sensitivity to the pressures to be, feel or behave a certain way, mental ill health or just a lack of feeling sparkly, shiny and full of the festive spirit.
An awareness of the challenge that this time of year can bring and preparing ahead in just the same way that people approach Christmas shopping, planning the festive menu or the seating plan for Christmas dinner can really help a lot.
As can reminding yourself of the Five Ways to Wellbeing and finding time to step away and focus on yourself when you need to.
Most of us have at least one thing about this time of year which we find soul feeding or special - whether it is a winter solstice celebration, Chrismas carol services, walking the streets seeing everyone’s lights and decorations, a favouriite food or drink which we associate with this time of year or a particular family tradition.
Remind yourself of what is magical for you over the festive season and be sure to indulge in that, regardless of whether anyone else joins in!
I personally adore the quiet hour or so once everyone else in the house has gone to bed on Christmas Eve and I love to sit with the midnight service from Kings on the TV, a glass of something in hand, all of the lights off except for those on the Christmas tree and I quietly join in with the descant verses of carols I sang as a child in the choir.
I no longer get anywhere close to the high notes, the pile of gifts under the tree is small now my children are adults and there is no longer a mince pie and brandy left for Father Christmas nor a carrot for the reindeer on the hearth but I very much enjoy knowing no one will be waking me at 4.30am and cherishing the happy memories of the years when they did!
As always my suggestions for ways to bring the Five Ways to Wellbeing into your life this festive season are just that - suggestions.
They may not work for you but there will undoubtedly be ways in which you ARE able to bring them into your holiday.
BE ACTIVE: Getting outside is a long held Christmas tradition. Whether it is testing out new gifts of bicycles or rollerskates or more modern day equivalents of activity tracking watches or photography drones a bracing walk outdoors to walk off the seasonal food and drink excesses, get some fresh air and exercise is always a great idea.
LEARN: Whether it is a Christmas gift which requires some education to enjoy or tasking yourself with learning something new about your friends and relations this year, or simply accepting that we learn new things every single day, including about ourselves, there are always opportunities to learn at this time of year.
GIVE: It is the season of goodwill and most of us have the capacity to give something - whether it is a donation of some sort to charity, the gift of our time to lend a hand where we can see someone is in need or sharing what you feel you are able to.
It is also worth recognising if you have no capacity left to give anything and making yourself the recipient of your giving - whether that is some time off, some self care, some self forgiveness or an actual tangible gift of something you would love for Christmas - you can even wrap it up and put it under the tree!
TAKE NOTICE: A mindful approach to Chrismas can feel like an incredibly challenging ask. As I mentioned above I used to find my mindful moment in the chaos of a Christmas with small children in the moments of quiet on Christmas Eve and that still holds magic for me.
I also find it in the sunset of the shortest day and the sunrise of the day following the winter solstice marking the return of the lighter days, incremental short moments each day which build each week and month until we are at the spring equinox.
Grounding exercises such as counting something you can see, smell, hear, feel and touch are perfect ways of taking notice, whether you reach for festive versions such as the scent of the tree, the taste of mulled wine and the sound of jingle bells, or avoid Christmas altogether and find non festive alternatives.
CONNECT: Spending time with others is known to have a positive impact on our emotional and mental health and wellbeing. In the run up to Christmas there are so many opportunities to join with others from community lunches to festive sing alongs, Christmas fairs and nativity and panto performances.
If you find yourself alone this festive season and that is not your choice or prefered way to be then there is always someone to listen, to be there and to offer support so please do reach out and connect with others.
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I wish you all the festive season you would most like to enjoy.
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